Wednesday, May 11, 2005

First entry

Hello Everyone,

Well, I was thinking a lot about the environment the other day. The ecocrisis is so deep and difficult an issue. It is easy for me to get lost and feel completely helpless when I think about the state of things, and the life I was born into. So I talked with my parents for a while and finally wrote down these thoughts, or I guess we should call it this poem:

Oh, how do I toe the line?

I was born into this life of murder.
I mean, I kill so I may live.
We all do - or at least we all borrow energy from someone or something else,
and then we all give it back eventually.
But what do I do with it along the way?
For me to have it means someone else doesn't,
so I better make good with it while I got it.

But how?
To make good requires borrowing more energy.
The more good I make the more energy I take!
It's a slippery slope.

I could go live in the woods and borrow very little energy (and only from plants for that matter).
But then who do I leave behind?

So, instead, I could get a job helping out the land around my home immersed in a culture infamous for borrowing way too much energy.
But then who do I leave behind?

So, instead, I could spend my life trying to spread the energy, like butter, thin over the entirity of humanity.
But then who do I leave behind?

Or, instead, I could try to take all the energy back from man and return it to the source.
But then who do I leave behind?

There is always someone left behind so how do I toe the line?
Someone tell me in this life of mine, how do I toe the line?

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Hmm, I should tell you all that I am not a great poet, and many things come out of me that should be essays but somehow get confused into the shape of a poem, and sometimes vice versa. So read at your own discretion.

The idea behind this last poem was that no matter what I do, I am causing suffering. I can devote my life to saving the environment but at the same time use gas and cause greenhouse gases, or roadkill. I can completely separate myself from society but then I do nothing to help anything else in the world outside of my very small local sphere, and that is to basically ignore the ecocrisis at hand. I can focus on the environment and forget humanity, or vice versa. There are so many problems right now and I am so finite. Sometimes I just get bogged down by that realization.

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